Teens in crisis: a 5-step plan by Kevin Driscoll & Jim Chesnes When tragedy strikes- be it a suicide, untimely death in the community, natural disaster, you name it- real, nitty-gritty youth ministry skills are needed to respond in a caring, compassionate Christ-like manner. Here is a 5-step plan to help: 1. Listen, Compassionately & Responsibly: When a teen presents a situation to you, it is important to be compassionate while at the same time be aware that there are often many times more than one angle to a situation, especially in matters of family conflict. Gather information carefully from all sides, avoiding the assignment of blame. Also, don’t think you know the person’s problem before you ask the questions. What you are asking will be hard for the other person to answer. Give them time and listen carefully. Embrace silence. The Spirit resides in that silence; check the urge to fill it with advice. Don’t ask a closed question. A closed question is any question that can be answered with a one word answer. “Are you O.K.?” is a classic closed question. Instead: “I noticed ________________ has been different in your life lately. What’s going on?” 2. Be present: Immediately consult your calendars to plan time to be with those in need. Whether it’s a one-on-one consultation or an open-door grieving session, timing is everything. Take advantage of other core team members if need be. WWJD here? Probably not send an email! Face time is crucial. Utilize responsible techniques: never be alone with youth, know when you are mandated to report, etc. Know and utilize the strengths of your core team: human dynamics dictate that some people “gel” better with different teens. 3. Consult with parent/guardian(s): Whenever possible, consult with parent/guardian(s) on the situation. Youth ministry should be a collaborative relationship with their first youth ministers, and stepping on toes often does more harm than good. Plus it might provide you insights the teen(s) would not provide. 4. Reveal God: Even though the hurting teen(s) may not feel God’s Presence at the time, it is during these moments that our faith is tested. Pray, pray, pray. Utilize Scripture, filled with stories of hardship. Teens don’t need hard theology, but they do need to have a basic understanding that Catholics believe in a real and Present God, available to us in the Sacraments and in the winds of the Holy Spirit. One of the most common questions heard is, “Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people?” This is a good time to utilize your in-house theologian, Father Pastor, to assist you in answering the tough questions. Addressing youth recently in Yonkers, NY, Pope Benedict cited two ways to respond directly to difficult times: personal prayer and silence, and liturgical prayer. Amen! 5. Provide a next step: Jesus was a compassionate Presence, and gave us the Holy Spirit to continue that Presence in the world. Our mission is to be the heart and hands of Christ for those in need. Determine if the hurting teen(s) is in immediate danger of hurting him/herself or others. Determine if the teen is in need of professional help. In cooperation with the teen’s parent/guardian(s), provide a referral. Continue to invite to future youth ministry gatherings (think: support group), using personal invitations. Followup. Mark your calendars to remember anniversaries when pain often resurfaces.
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